It’s 1 April and that presents problems for a news organisation trawling the usual sources for interesting news.
In theory, All Fool’s Day only applies in the morning, which is why the name is officially changing to All Fool’s Morning, so it is probably safe now to assume breaking news items are kosher.
Here, however, is a list of news items and situations that we wish were April Fool’s day pranks.
- Energy bills go up by 54% today – and it’s flipping freezing to boot.
- Water bills are also going up by an average of 1.7% in England and Wales. It’s enough to drive a chap to drink, except …
- The hospitality sector is warning that with VAT going back to 20% from 12.5% today to 20% for pubs and bars, and with soaring cost inflation, stand by for the five-pound pint.
Great! A price cut, say millions of Londoners.
Er … not quite.
Industry body UKHospitality reckons the sector has been hit with a 95% average rise in recent energy bills, a 19% hike in labour costs, while food and drink prices have gone up 17% and 14% respectively.
- Council tax goes up today. For once, Londoners get off relatively lightly, with the band D bill rising by an average of 2.4%, compared to an average rise of 3.7% in the provinces.
- Meanwhile, social housing rents are set to go up by 4.1% this year.
- The British Chamber of Commerce (BCC) said its latest survey indicates 62% of businesses expect their prices will rise in the next three months. I can’t say I blame ‘em but it’s not the best day for the BCC to hit us with this news.
- The threat of rising interest rates is also gaining prominence, with 32% of respondents to the BCC survey registering it as an area of concern, up from 27% in the preceding quarter. Rising interest rates follow rising inflation as surely as a fundraising follows a spike in the share price of an AIM-listed exploration company.
- Broadband, mobile phone and TV companies – so-called “triple threat” operators – have sneaked through price increases recently, which means the main threat is people eschewing subscription TV or all you can eat data allowances on their mobile phone schemes for the cheaper option of looking at the wallpaper. Well, it beats eating the stuff.
- The annual cost of taxing a car is going up in line with the retail price index. Another reason for unbearably smug electric vehicle owners to crank up the smugometer to 12.
- Companies continue to complain of supply chain disruption. Whether it be because of Covid, Brexit or sanctions against Russia, this is adding to inflationary pressure.
- Lastly, Ukraine. Nuff said, really.