It’s that special time of the year again when the nation’s leading supermarket chains get into the spirit of Christmas through the power of prime-time advertising.
We’ve watched the lot and chosen our favourites and not-so-favourites of the bunch!
John Lewis: Scares and traditional Xmas fare
The Spooky Award goes to John Lewis’ ad, courtesy of Saatchi & Saatchi, which features a giant snapping plant with the clever name of Snapper with a taste for… gifts.
Snapper turns out to be a good boy, not a bloodthirsty demonic piranha plant like Audrey II in The Little Shop of Horrors.
John Lewis went the safe route this year, pulling out the classic Christmas vibes in a gorgeously directed treat.
Three-and-a-half piranha plants out of five.
ASDA: Christmas crooners and taste tests
With Xmas just around the corner, Michale Bublé has awoken from his yearly slumber to cash in his next pile of royalty cheques.
On a detour to the bank, he stopped by ASDA to taste test the budget supermarket chain’s 2023 line-up of festive treats, capping the day off by lending his dulcet tones to a quick rendition of Walking in a Winter Wonderland.
It won’t be winning any awards, despite being directed by Oscar winner Taika Waititi, but it was inoffensive nonetheless.
Bublé said of the advert: “I love my relationship with the UK, and I’m the biggest fan of Christmas, so it was an honour to be asked to star in Asda’s Christmas advert this year.” Aww.
Two-and-a-half-baubles out of five.
Marks & Spencer: Grinch comes to town
In a nation starved of controversy, thank Marks and Spencer for getting the blood boiling with its Krampus take on the Xmas advert, whereby singer Sophie Ellis-Bextor sets fire to a pile of Christmas cards in a revenge fantasy against the burdens of the festive season.
As one YouTube commentator commentated: “Look at the pure evil in the woman's eyes before she sets fire to the Christmas cards. This ISN'T comedy - it's sheer contempt for traditional values dressed up as 'comedy' for the 'plausible deniabilty' factor. Where are the kids and elderly relatives? Where is the LOVE?”
Well, looks like M&S has lost itself a customer.
As for the ad, it takes the cake for crappiest soundtrack, with one of those twee renditions of a rock classic, this time Meatloaf’s I’d Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That). As someone who has been called Mr. Loaf’s doppelganger, I’m going to have to mark this down.
Two lumps of coal out of five
Lidl: Cute racoon steals the show
You never know what you’ll find in the Middle of Lidl.
Likewise, were we expecting Lidl to bring the feels with a cute-as-heck tale of a trash panda becoming besties with an outsized guard dog?
The story wraps up with a call to arms to Lidl’s Toybank, which last year saw over 80,000 underprivileged children receive a gift on Xmas day.
The ad’s CGI was also top-notch. Five hearts out of five.
Sainsbury’s: Big man himself gets the gifts
Christmas may be the one day a year that we celebrate the birth of our Lord in heaven, but what about the big man in the North Pole?
No one seems to care about him, apart from J Sainsbury that is. With a cameo from pop icon Rick Astley, Sainsbury's staff assembled a slap-up meal for Santa Claus, turkey, beef wellington, cheese and pudding included.
"It was a real honour and so much fun to join the Sainsbury’s store team on the shoot – even if they did pull me up on my cheeseboard before dessert suggestion!" said Astley of his part in the ad. You’re a loose end Rick!
Three Rick rolls out of five
Argos: Winner of the Uncanny Valley Award
Argos went with a short, snappy piece about a toy dinosaur filming a dead-eyed doll called Connie who comes to life and pulls out a few dance moves.
Nope, don’t like it
One Chucky doll out of five
Waitrose: Christmas cheer front and centre
Waitrose has a reputation for attracting, let’s say ‘higher end’ clientele, but the chain’s 2023 Christmas ad was all about good, unpretentious festive cheer, all the to tune of Depeche Mode’s Just Can't Get Enough.
Mince pies, booze, decorations and Graham Norton… I can get on board with that.
In many ways, Waitrose’s offering to the 2023 catalogue is the essence of a top Xmas advert. I might just go pore myself a festive tipple after watching that.
Five Xmas trees out of five.
